I really thought I could fix anything and anyone. I measured everyone’s ability to overcome by my standards. If I could conquer all that I had been through and all the mistakes I made, I thought everyone else should be able to do the same. In my twenties I had a coworker ask me for advice. At that time I thought I had all the answers. I was educated and I had benefits. I had a seat at the table at work but my personal life was stressful. Nonetheless I still knew all the answers to all the questions. She told me her dilemma and I gave her my solution. She looked at me and said, “Phillitia, everyone is not like you. Everyone isn’t that strong.” Her comments threw me off. At time I believed in saying what you mean and meaning what you say. I didn’t realize that my delivery was drowning the message. The irony in this situation was that I was judgmental. I had become hardened by my journey. How blind was I to not want to be judged but subconsciously judging others. The older I get the more I realize that it wasn’t people disappointing me, it was me disappointing myself by holding people to unrealistic expectations. If you find yourself often misunderstood it could be YOU. You can tell your message is getting lost in your delivery if you are aggressive, if you are a “know it all” and you are unapproachable. “What we don’t need in the midst of struggle of is shame of being human.” Brene Brown. What is the lie? The lie is that there is only one way to display strength. There is strength in grace, humility and vulnerability. Let’s be quick to listen and slow to judge.